Have you ever tried on a shirt, or a pair of pants, that
were supposedly in your size, but it just didn't fit? The
sleeves were too small, the pants were too tight. But the
size said it should fit, right? So if the size is correct,
then the message must be that it's your body that's not the
right size.
Well, that just isn't the truth, and you know, it took me a
while to realize that. Our bodies are not made to fit into
all the different styles that are out there-and we have to
understand that! Unfortunately, all the models and
advertising leads us to believe that clothes are truly a
"one size fits all"-and if the clothes don't fit; there
must be a problem with our bodies.
Do any of you remember hot pants? These were quite the
style when I was a teenager-and I wanted to wear them,
because "everyone" was. They were also called "short
shorts", and were the rage in the 1970's. Since everyone
was wearing them, I convinced my mother to let me get a
pair. But the problem was-they didn't look right on me.
My thighs didn't look good in those short shorts, and I
wouldn't wear them
What I didn't realize back then was that my body was the
right size-for me. But I didn't understand that, nor was I
able to accept myself as not being anything else but too
fat. I figured if the pants didn't look right on me, it
must be my fault. So I decided I had to go on a diet and
lose weight, in my thighs, in order to fit the fashion.
Of course I couldn't lose the weight-I have never been able
to stay on any diet. And I couldn't accept was that there
were plenty of other clothes that did look good on me. I
HAD to be able to wear these hot pants, because it was the
style. So sadly I wasted a lot of time, and energy on
criticizing myself for not having the right body, and it
took a long time (and gaining and finally losing 30 pounds)
to finally accept myself.
Now I realize that regardless of how much weight I may have
lost, I would never have looked like those models. My
genetic make up would have never given me skinny thighs and
legs (I suppose I could blame my parents, but I think I'm a
bit old for that). We all have different body shapes, and
we need to find the clothes that feel comfortable on our
bodies-we need to feel comfortable IN our bodies. While I
certainly enjoy wearing nice clothes, comfort comes first
now. If the skirt feels a bit tight, even if it is "my"
size, I'm not going to get it. I'm past the point of
thinking about losing weight in order to fit into a certain
pair of pants.
Over time my body has changed (gravity, perhaps? Having
kids? Certainly), and I have also gotten rid of clothes I
wore 20 years ago. I have no desire to be able to fit into
my wedding dress, nor do I think it is something I should
have to do.
I do the best I can to take care of myself. I try to eat
well, most of the time, and I do like to walk regularly,
when my schedule allows it. I'm not going to buy any
clothes that are going to give me the shivers when I think
about putting them on. The clothes I buy now will be the
ones I will remember warmly.
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