Last week I had two clients come in, at different times, to
discuss their diets, their weight, and how to handle the
holidays. Neither of them had lost any weight, but, (and
more importantly as we go through all these holidays)
neither of them had gained weight.
What struck me was that their attitudes were totally
different, and I could see it in the way they behaved in my
office. Let me first tell you that in my practice, I like
to talk for a while with my clients before I weigh them.
It helps me get a sense of how they are doing, what's going
on in their lives that may affect their weight plans. It
also helps me when it comes time to set goals for our next
visit.
He had decided he was "not going to follow his meal plan"
for three weeks. He had several family weekend activities
and he also loves Halloween. So he had no guilt associated
with the eating he was doing. He was quite surprised, and
pleased to discover he had not gained an ounce since our
last appointment. He had, in fact, continued his activity,
but he had stopped following any kind of eating "plan".
She, on the other hand, came into my office feeling very
frustrated. Keeping food records is one of the methods she
uses to help herself "stay on track." It had worked for
her since we started meeting, and seemed to be something
she wanted to continue doing. However, she had stopped
keeping records two weeks before our appointment (we were
meeting every 3-4 weeks). She felt she had been
overeating, and just didn't want to see it on paper. She
was feeling out of control and very guilty about her
behaviors. She had injured her shoulder and couldn't
exercise regularly, and she felt in a downward spiral. I
tried to make several suggestion, such as taking small
walks, setting less ambitious activity goals-anything to
help her pull herself out of this slump.
But she didn't want to hear any of it. After a short
while, we took her weight, and she discovered she had not
gained an ounce. Suddenly, her entire demeanor changed.
She was smiling, and open to many of the suggestions we had
just discussed! She said that she felt optimistic and now
thought she would be able to start keeping records and
becoming active. She was a different person.
Why was he so positive when he first came in, and she so
negative? The answer is easy- attitude.
His attitude was much more realistic than hers. He had
decided NOT to diet, and so if there were no "rules" to
break, he was still in control. He had no reason to feel
disappointed, because he had done nothing "wrong."
She, on the other hand, had a much more negative attitude.
While she had given up keeping food records, she had not
given herself permission to stop dieting. Her attitude was
that she was out of control, and so she had failed.
It is important to be realistic about your behaviors,
especially around the holidays. I tell my clients the goal
is to work to stay active and to maintain weight. He was
being realistic about his behaviors, and so was much more
pleasant not at all disappointed. She, unfortunately, had
been unrealistic, and so disappointed herself.
Don't set goals you cannot keep. Maybe it is best to
forget about your eating behaviors for the next few weeks.
Set yourself activity goals instead. Walk around your
living room for five minutes before you go to bed. It may
turn out that five minutes is goes by really fast
(especially if the TV is on), so you'll walk for
ten…fifteen. You get the idea.
You may also find that if you allow yourself to eat what
you want, when you want to eat it-your need for the food
may decrease. When foods are not forbidden, the need for
those foods becomes less and less. And, the amount of food
it takes to satisfy you becomes less as well.
Try it-and have a wonderful holiday season.
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