The holiday season is officially upon us! And for some
adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), this is the
most stressful time of year. Here are a few practical tips
for managing your ADD this holiday.
1. Know Your Own ADD and Plan Ahead to Deal with It
You know yourself better than anyone, so ask yourself "How
does my ADD affect me on the holidays?" Make a list of all
the things that tend to stress you out on the holidays, and
make a plan to deal with them.
For example:
Do you tend to say impulsive things that you later regret?
Plan to take a deep breath before answering ANY questions
so that you can think about your words before you speak
them.
Do hyper kids or too many people overwhelm you? Plan to
excuse yourself and take a brief walk when things start
feeling chaotic.
Does a family member really make you mad when s/he starts
nagging or becomes critical? Plan a simple response that
won't fuel the fire, like "I'm sorry you feel that way. I'd
rather talk about a great book I'm reading right now."
Do you get antsy after a long day? Plan to end the day
early, so that you don't reach the point of irritability.
2. Don't Expect Perfection
Accept that the day won't be perfect. Nothing is! Whether
you're hosting the holiday, going to a friend or family
member's, or visiting a restaurant, realize that something
is bound to go wrong. That's life. Don't hold it against
yourself, or the people around you. Whatever it is, do your
best to move on and let it go.
3. Ask For Help/Accept Help
If you're hosting the holiday, ask for help in the kitchen.
This is perfectly acceptable, and most people are happy to
help out where they can. If you're offered help, accept it
with gratitude! You don't have to do it all on your own.
If you're a guest, offer to take over a task that you're
good at or don't mind doing. That doesn't necessarily mean
offering to cook or serve, it can mean keeping the kids
occupied! (Or, in my family, keeping the dogs out of the
kitchen!)
4. Remember That People Do The Best They Can
Long days with family members often end in frustration and
hurt feelings. Try to remember that people do the best they
can with the skills and tools they have. Hurtful comments
probably aren't meant to be hurtful. If someone says
something to you that you find hurtful or offensive, ask
yourself "What is this person's intention?" The answer will
most likely be "to be helpful." Don't hold it against
friends and family members who may not have the necessary
skills to express themselves effectively.
5. Smile!
Set the tone for those around you by being positive,
smiling often, and enjoying yourself!
Thanksgiving is only a few days away. Take some time now to
prepare yourself so that you don't get overwhelmed later!
----------------------------------------------------
Jennifer Koretsky is the Founder of the ADD Management
Group, Inc. and the author of the new book Odd One Out: The
Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD. Jennifer and her team work
with ADD adults who are overwhelmed with everyday life in
order to help them simplify, focus, and succeed. For free
resources and information on adult ADD, visit
http://www.ADDmanagement.com .
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