Getting support as one means to help quit smoking is
something that comes highly recommend. In fact, statistics
show that people who are trying to quit smoking who get
support actually have a higher success rate. Back in the
days when I was struggling to overcome my own issues, I did
seek out support groups as part of my strategy for getting
the help I needed. During this time, I had made some
objective observations about support relationships and
groups that concerned me. Since you may be interested in
support relationships or groups to help you quit smoking, I
would like to share my concerns with you.
Let me start by saying that I am very much in favor of
support relationships. We all need people in our lives who
understand us; someone that we can talk to and share our
problems and experiences with. We all need fellowship,
support and love. A support group can be a great source for
developing these types of relationships and also for
learning new solutions from a broader range of sources.
The way that support groups and other support relationships
are sometimes used is a concern that I would like to share
with you. My concern, is that sometimes people use support
groups and relationships in a co-dependent way. In other
words, it becomes one more thing to become dependent on; a
type of dependency that is not healthy. It becomes a new
dependency and this usually happens unconsciously. What
they actually end up doing is replacing one dependency with
another; the smoking for the relationship or group.
I would encourage anyone to have supporters in their life
but I also suggest that they pay close attention and note
whether their supporters are encouraging and supporting
them towards success or are they actually helping to
create a co-dependency relationship or group that is a
substitute dependency. And even more, I suggest that the
individual pay very close attention, on a very conscious
level, at what is driving him/her to be attached to the
person or group so that they can notice if they are
developing a substitute dependency. I would like for people
to really be free. So plunge on and I am sure you will
surround yourself with the right people for you. With the
right mindset and the right supporters surrounding you, I
am sure you will succeed in pursuit to stop smoking.
The key to preventing this new replacement dependency is
self-awareness. It is necessary to commit to constant
self-observation. Be aware of what you are feeling and
thinking at all times. By doing this you will not be driven
unconsciously and functioning just by instinct. You will be
able to tell whether or not you are being driven by the
dependency. If you are, then the best thing you can do for
yourself is to find the things that edify you in your
spirit. Find ways to be intimate with people at the spirit
level (your spirit). This is where the pain and need
exists. A dependency, at its core, is a problem in the
persons spirit and this is where the healing needs to take
place. This, of course, is after you have gotten past the
physical phase of nicotine withdrawal. Become dependent on
other people's love, not their stimulation.
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Frank Andrews is the author of two self-help books. This
developed as the result of being a student of personal
development for over 25 years. Having worked through many
of his own personal struggles, he now provides information
to help others. You can find free quit-smoking information
on his website at: http://www.AnswersToQuitSmoking.com