Food is Not Your Friend

Food is not your friend. Stop saying it is. Stop saying
that you eat to be comforted by a dependable friend. Food
is not, I repeat, not your friend.

Food is fuel for your physical body. Food can taste
delicious. Food can satisfy physical hunger. Food is a
reason to get together with friends, but food is not one of
the friends.

Here is a definition of friend:

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and
supportive behavior between two or more humans. In this
sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves
mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection. Friends will
welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards
each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes
will usually be similar and may converge, and they will
share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in
mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and
the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often
demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for
many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that
someone or something will not harm them. Value that is
found in friendships is often the result of a friend
demonstrating on a consistent basis:

the tendency to desire what is best for the other, sympathy
and empathy, honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be
difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in
terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's
counterpart, mutual understanding.

So let's play this out to make the point. How much does
food know you? How much affection does it have for you? How
much does it welcome your company? Does it have the same
tastes as you do? Does food engage in mutually helping
behavior? Does it give you advice? Can you trust food not
to harm you? Do you have food's best interests at heart? Do
you empathize with your food and does it do the same for
you? Are you honest with food? Do you tell your food the
truth? Does it tell you the truth? Does it understand you?

Oh, and here is my favorite question: Does food really
comfort you? Seriously…..

Food just is. It doesn't love you. It doesn't hate you. It
doesn't care if you eat it or don't eat it. It doesn't care
if you are sad. It doesn't care if you are happy. Food
doesn't give one damn about you. Food doesn't taste good on
purpose so you will be happy. Food doesn't try to be
dependable so you can rely on it. Food doesn't care if you
like it and FOOD DOES NOT WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND.

So some of you might say that you feel better after you eat
something that tastes good. But is that really true? Think
about it. How do you really feel afterward? Ok, so you
might say that you feel better when you are actually eating
it. I will give you that even though I am not convinced
that it is true either. But while you are eating food, the
reason you feel better for a very miniscule amount of time
is because you are focused on the food tasting good and not
your thoughts. Your negative thoughts are what make you
feel negative emotion. And maybe for that one-minute you
are eating a cookie, you are distracted from your thinking,
and focused on the taste of the food. You just gave
yourself a state change by changing your focus. You didn't
make a new friend.

If you need a friend, be your own. Read the definition
above and see what kind of friend you are being to
yourself. See how much you are paying attention to treating
yourself well. Maybe you think food is a good friend
because you are a terrible friend to yourself. Maybe if you
put a little effort into being kind and warm and trusting
and understanding and honest to yourself, you could beat
out the Doritos and the Weight Watcher crackers in the
"good friend" category.

Food is not your friend. You are.

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Brooke Castillo is the author of "If I am So Smart, Why
Can't I Lose Weight? and can be found at
http://www.coach4weight.com