Warning: It's Time to Get Serious About Boundaries

I have two dogs. Punky is a 9-year-old lab mix and Rascal
is a 1-year-old Jack Russell terrier mix.

Punky is a good girl. Rascal is insane.

Wherever Punky goes, Rascal tags along. He steals her toys.
He licks her face when she's trying to sleep. And he
demands that she play with him every waking hour.

When she doesn't want to play, he tries to get her riled
up. He barks at her - and even bites her - until she's had
enough and runs after him... which is exactly what he wants.

Every once in a while, though, Punky makes it clear that
she doesn't want to play. She sets her boundaries. First,
she shows her teeth. If Rascal continues to annoy her, she
growls. And if he still persists, she snaps at him. It's a
dog's way of warning another dog and saying, "I'm in charge
here!"

There's a lot we can learn from Punky.

What Every ADDer Ought to Know About Boundaries

Adults with ADD very often have trouble creating
boundaries. September, in particular, can be a difficult
time as the world picks up its pace. It's back to school
for the students. More projects suddenly appear at work.
Retailers are beginning to drop hints about the holiday
season. And any minute now your phone will start ringing as
people begin asking you to help out with various causes and
functions.

There's a lot going on - and you can get overwhelmed just
thinking about it! Without the appropriate boundaries,
adults with ADD fall victim to the overwhelm-burnout cycle.
You get completely overwhelmed trying to accomplish
everything that you're 'supposed to,' and then you burnout
from all the mental and physical stress.

Fortunately, humans don't need to resort to barking or
biting to set boundaries. Here are 3 simple strategies that
you can use to set boundaries and take care of yourself.

1. Put yourself first. You're no use to anyone - family,
friends, or coworkers - when you're stressed out and
overwhelmed. Make sure you get what you need to function at
your best before committing to helping anyone else.

2. Set your own hours. Decide when you're willing to help
out or do things for other people. This includes spouses
and kids! If you want a night off to relax, you're entitled
to it.

3. Just say "No." Never be afraid to turn down the requests
that people make of you. You don't need an excuse to
decline, either. If you truly want to do something and you
have the time for it, then great. But you don't need to say
"yes" just because you were asked.

Remember, good boundaries help protect adults with ADD from
succumbing to overwhelm.

So the next time someone wants to cross your boundaries,
take a cue from Punky and communicate who's in charge!

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Jennifer Koretsky is the Founder of the ADD Management
Group, Inc. and the author of the new book Odd One Out: The
Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD. Jennifer and her team work
with ADD adults who are overwhelmed with everyday life in
order to help them simplify, focus, and succeed. For free
resources and information on adult ADD, visit
http://www.ADDmanagement.com . To learn more about Odd One
Out, visit http://www.odd-one-out.net .