Why women in their 30s & 40s should look at menopause now

Just because you are still in your thirties and forties is
no reason to postpone thinking about menopause. Don't wait
for menopause to hit you. Reflect on it now instead of
waiting for the experience to overtake you without mental,
psychological, and spiritual preparation.

It might make for a radically different experience of
menopause then - and of your sexuality now. Physical
symptoms are the least of it; menopause goes to some dark,
deep aspects of how women view themselves, their lives and
their sexuality.

The psychological role models for menopause and beyond have
been set or at least horribly infiltrated by thoughts and
ideas that echo from out of a sad history. cultural
misconceptions which haunt our psychic shadows.

There is the basic physical fact; menstruation winds down
and stops. There are some accompanying symptoms – for some.
How widespread are these physical symptoms? How much are
they just conditioned expectations now embodied in ailing
flesh; how much is physiologically inherent in the human
organism; how much is caused by physical neglect or
negative cultural expectations?

What comes from biology, environment or culture? What is
fact; what is fiction?

The very understanding of menopause is entangled with the
dominating social and medical theories regarding aging,
sexuality and beauty.

The theories set the context and the assumptions by which
we live; and they fluctuate over time. They are the common
truth of any period and generate the fulfilling prophecies
for those who "believe" it is so. What we believe, we quite
literally embody.

Historically, menopause was considered an illness that led
to mania, depression, and madness. When procreation was
considered the primary feminine purpose, post-menopausal
woman became theoretically useless, and socially without
function and the end of procreation was considered the end
of sex as well.

* In 16th and 17th century Europe the doctors thought that
the menstrual blood putrefied in women's bellies making
them malignant and venomous. The stereotypical image of
post-menopausal women was mainly that of witches; a 1550
view describes witches as "mostly old women who can find no
lovers".

* In the rational and middle class 18th and 19th centuries,
women were idealized and spiritualized as mother. Official
sexuality was safely contained within marriage and linked
only to procreation. Post-menopausal women were either old
maids who were negatively stereotyped and isolated or the
ageing grandmother. Granny was righteous, moral, good – and
totally asexual.

* The 20th century swung between menopause as pathology or
as potential. Was it an illness, bringing inevitable
breakdown of body and mind, or a time of renewed vigour,
the "post-menopausal zest' so famously described and
exemplified by anthropologist Margaret Mead.

The turn of the 20th century was forward-looking, buoyed by
theories of vital ageing and medical support for the view
that there was no pathology associated with menopause and
that it might even increase the vital forces. But this
viewing point did not last past the 1920s

Basically, the pathology version triumphed. Its various
symptoms became the domain of medical specialists whose job
it was to attend women through this period – once a year,
please, at least – and, of course, through the
post-menopause as well – until death do us part. The newly
established field of gynaecology took control of menopause,
as it had taken childbirth over from the midwives. The
growing size and structures of the medical profession in
the early 20th century required an expanding patient
population for economic viability. Menopausal and
post-menopausal women formed the perfect client group –
large numbers, ample finances, and vague symptoms. The
medicalization of menopause was great for doctors.

Endocrinology, the study of glands and hormones, joined
gynaecology in describing an integrated, delicate feminine
physiology that determined and dominated the female
character – and easily went awry. Hormone deficiencies and
bone loss, and indeed just about every other ageing
symptom, were added to the menopausal medical stew.
(Oestrogen replacement therapy started in the 1940s.)

The new psychology exacerbated an already bad situation.
Freud's view of menopause reinforced the view that it was
biological and pathological bringing much psychological
insecurity, and a return to neurotic, adolescent
behaviours. Heightened sexuality was considered a pathology!

In 1949, even the brilliant Simone de Beauvoir was
pessimistic, despite a classic French tradition of
celebrating ageing women. She wrote that as women age and
anticipate the end of beauty and love, "their minds became
unbalanced" and "with bleak futures to anticipate, they
turned into shrewish, paranoid versions of their former
selves".

The obsession with youthful beauty which only really began
in the early 20th century, had a huge and paralysing impact
on the self-image of all women older than 30, but more so
on post-menopausal women.

"Aging in women is a process of becoming obscene sexually,"
wrote feminist Susan Sontag in 1972. "One of the attitudes
that punish women most severely is the visceral horror felt
at aging female flesh." We are revolted by our own image
and "turn from sex with self-disgust, seeing in men's eyes
our own revulsion".

So how different is it now? Baby boomer haven't done that
well at all in this regard; most of them are totally bought
into the medical model. And even if they are into a
"natural" menopause, the issues around self-image and
sexuality are not that well grounded. Basically menopause
"hit" them with all the dark stuff from the past that had
not been properly untumbled. And already doctors are
telling many women in their 30s and 40s that they are
starting an early menopause. What is happening here?

Menopause should not be primarily a medical experience, but
a process of soul that redefines self, life, spirit and
sex. And its worth starting that process before the hot
flashes hit – if they do at all. Preparation of mind, soul,
spirit – and body – might make a huge difference.

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©2007 Extracted and adapted from Sex, Age & Menopause: a
baby boomer'smanifesto. From the Hanna G Ruby material..
Towards a Soulful Sexuality, a Different Menopause and a
"New" Aging through healing your sexual self. Visit Hanna G
Ruby on http://www.sexageandmenopause.com and
http://blog.hannagruby.com or email
hgr@sexageandmenopause.com