Do any of these situations sound familiar to you?
You are working on a big project for your job and it is
coming together nicely. You are satisfied with the
progress you have made and know that your boss will be too.
All of a sudden, you want to eat...perhaps something
sweet, salty and crunchy.
The bakery down the street is only a couple of minutes
away. You ate lunch less than an hour ago so you aren't
really hungry. You can't stop thinking of eating your
favorite baked items. Why?
You are on your way to school to meet with your child's
teacher for a routine mid-year conference. Your child is
excelling in school so you anticipate it will be a positive
conference about your child's progress. No reason to be
anxious, right? On your way to the school, you drive by
your favorite fast food restaurant. You aren't hungry yet
you are have this overwhelming urge to drive through for
something they serve. You drive through for a "quick bite"
and are a few minutes late for the conference. What
happened?
You received good news and you want to eat; you feel
anxious or worried and you want to eat; you are feeling
down for no particular reason that you can identify and you
want to eat. What is this voice that is similar to a
recording playing over and over in your head? Sometimes
this voice is screaming and so overwhelming for the urge to
give in. This is head hunger or emotional eating.
What exactly is emotional eating? Emotional eating is
when we eat in response to situations and feelings other
than true physical hunger. Emotional eating is a way to
alleviate or calm emotions such as worry, boredom, sadness,
or stress. Emotional eating is the urge to change the way
you're currently feeling to another more comfortable
feeling. For example, you feel anxious and you don't know
what to do with this emotion of anxiety. You turn to food
to calm you and bring your anxiety down. Sometimes even
positive emotions can cause the urge to emotional eating.
The key to leaving the voice of emotional eating unanswered
is to be aware. Be aware that emotional eating is
triggered when you eat to feed a feeling, whether
consciously or unconsciously, rather than feed a physical
hunger. Imagine a signal light of Stop-Look-Listen!
STOP means that you need to take a pause. Even if you're
on your way into the kitchen or drive-thru you need to
Stop. Think it through. Fast forward to how you'll feel
after you eat. You'll feel regret, shame, and
self-depreciation. Ask yourself if it is really worth it?
Taking the pause to Stop is very important to silencing the
voice of emotional overeating.
LOOK means that after you've completed Stop, Look inside
yourself. What are you feeling? What do you need? Food
isn't the answer. Look to use your emotional eating as a
barometer into what's going on with you.
LISTEN means that you've identified what you're feeling or
the bothersome situation. Once you've identified the
trigger to the emotional eating, you can Listen and
emotionally process the feeling or situation.
There are distinct differences between emotional eating and
physical hunger are:
* If you are craving a certain food, and only that food
will do (such as cookies, chips, pizza, or a certain
unhealthy food choice), that is emotional eating. If you
eat because you are experiencing physical hunger, you are
open to food choices to satisfy that hunger.
* Emotional eating hunger strikes suddenly while physical
hunger occurs gradually. Emotional hunger happens
instantaneously and wants to be satisfied NOW. Physical
hunger does not demand to be satisfied immediately and can
be delayed.
* Emotional eating is usually a process that is ongoing
and prolonged. You can't seem to be satisfied and continue
eating. The emotional eating is driven by feeling a sense
of fullness inside you and is not driven by physical
fullness. One of the behaviors associated with emotional
eating is searching. You eat something and then search for
more or something else to feel full and satisfied. With
physical hunger, you can stop eating when you feel a sense
of satiety.
* Emotional eating causes you to feel guilt and shame
afterwards. Negative self-talk usually results after
emotional eating. Eating in response to physical hunger
does not result in negative emotions or self talk. Eating
to satisfy physical hunger is an act of self-care and
nurturing, resulting in positive feelings from taking care
of yourself.
Food can be a welcome distraction. If you are worried,
i.e., about your presentation or a parent-teacher
conference, food can take you away from your worry and
distract you from your feelings. The distraction is only
temporary and the situation or feelings return. In
addition to the situation or feelings that you initially
emotionally ate to cope, you now have added the negative
feelings from the emotional eating episode.
When we have a headache or a physical discomfort, we take
medication. Emotional eating is similar in that if we feel
emotional discomfort, we want to eat to stuff the feeling
or diminish the intensity. Food is for nourishment not for
medicating! Emotional eating also serves to numb you and
allow an emotional escape.
Here are some tips and what to do when you want to
emotionally eat:
*Identify the urge to emotionally eat. Does it strike so
quickly that you haven't recognized it before? Instill a
moment of pause (use the Stop-Look-Listen strategy) when
the desire occurs. This will allow you the opportunity to
deal with the situation and feelings causing the drive to
emotionally eat.
*What is triggering the desire to emotionally eat? Check
in with yourself. What situation or feeling is most
prominent at the time? Are you feeling worried, sad,
overwhelmed, or angry?
*Distract yourself in a healthy, positive way rather than
with food. Make a list of things you can do when you feel
that urge to eat over your emotions. Call a friend, read a
book, take a walk, watch a movie, listen to your favorite
music, dance, go outside and change your environment from
the house (and kitchen), indulge in a bubble bath, or take
a nap.
*Feel the feelings. Feelings are temporary. They can be
used as a gauge as to what is going on inside you that
needs your attention. Feelings will pass when they are
experienced and allowed to come and go.
Be proactive and develop strategies for conquering
emotional eating. Write a checklist of activities you can
engage rather than emotionally eat. Many times the
strongest compulsion for food occurs when you are feeling
emotionally vulnerable. Many of us turn to food for
comfort when faced with a situation, uncomfortable
feelings, or looking to carve out time just for ourselves.
Nurture yourself in other ways than food. Food is a
temporary quick fix while self-comforting acts are long
lasting. If you have given in to emotional eating,
learn from it and start again. Make a plan by
incorporating a new strategy for the future. Play it again
- review the situation and feelings that you emotionally
ate over and substitute another way of coping. Focus on
the positive, healthy changes you've made in your life.
Empower yourself to silence the voice of emotional eating.
Make your goal to be stronger than the pull of emotional
eating. Remember the answer to handling situations and
feelings lies inside of you and not in a bag of cookies.
----------------------------------------------------
Cathy Wilson is a weight loss life coach. Cathy lost 147
pounds six years ago. Her passion is helping clients
achieve their weight loss and life goals. Cathy works with
clients to create a weight loss life plan that is
customized to each client. Cathy is a member of the
International Coaching Federation, International
Association of Coaches, and Obesity Action Coalition.
Visit Cathy's website:
http://www.LoseWeightFindLife.com
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