Saturday, May 31, 2008

You've just been snubbed . . . What now?

You've just been snubbed . . . What now?
So, you've just been told that you've missed out on leading
that new, exciting project. Or you find that two of your
colleagues are getting a promotion over you. Or the
presentation you made to the board last week didn't seem to
go over as well as you had hoped. All of these events (and
probably one or two you are thinking about as you read
this) can lead us to feel demoralised. The problem then
escalates. The disappointment we feel from this one event
spills over into everything else we do. Not only do we
feel bad, but others around us start to notice our lethargy
and things like our negative talk too. How can we get
ourselves out of the despondent feelings and negative
behaviour brought about by disappointments such as these?

There are two things that will help. Firstly, we need to
understand the three factors that are working when we are
highly motivated. This is important so that we can aim to
get them back into our life when things aren't going so
well. Secondly, a list of helpful tips to get us started
back toward normality.

All the work done by the sports psychs over the last 20
years to help athletes perform at their best, has been
really helpful for us mere mortals as well. For instance
through their research, we now know that when we are
performing well (and highly motivated):

- We are being mentally stimulated, i.e. our mind is being
used in a way that challenges and stimulates us (e.g.
business, pleasure, creative)

- We are emotionally well balanced, i.e. we feel happy
within ourselves and we have satisfying personal
relationships with friends and loved ones

- We are physically fit - eating, sleeping and exercising
well.

So, the tips to get motivated should apply to getting our
mind, emotions and body quickly back into shape. Here they
are . . .

1. How to get your mind fit again:

- List on a sheet of paper the three or four things you do
really well.

- Then, jot down some answers to these questions: 'If
things were going well for me now, what would I be doing?"
"Which of my strengths would I be using?"

- Take each one of your answers and write out an action
plan. Write it as "My goal is to ... The next steps I will
take immediately to move toward my goal are ..."

- Next, some mental practice. Make yourself comfortable,
either sit or lie down. Close your eyes, take a few deep
breaths. Allow your imagination to flow freely. Picture
yourself as you take action to achieve your goals.
Visualise them coming true in every detail. How do you
feel? When you open your eyes write down any thoughts that
come into your head.

- Do the first thing on your list now! Over the longer
term, you might consider having a chat with a supportive
friend, or reading a stimulating book, or even perhaps
taking up a new and creative hobby.

2. How to get your emotions into balance:

- Immediately look for someone else who is doing something
well (business, sport, study etc). Tell them in detail what
a great job they are doing. Praising what others are
doing, not only makes them feel good, it has a reciprocal
effect. You will feel better as well.

- Tell your loved ones that you love them. Build the
bridges, now!

- Share a laugh with someone you know. For example, watch
a favourite comedy movie or video with someone. Laughter
is a fantastic medicine. Recent studies in Japan have
shown that patients who laugh more get better more quickly
than those who don't.

3. How to get physically fit:

- Start some exercise straight away. If you are not into a
lot of exercise, start with a short walk. Remember the old
Chinese saying "A journey of 1,000 miles starts with the
first step".

- Be regular with your chosen exercise. Physical exercise
is not only good for your body, it stimulates the brain.
In fact, it's been shown that we can get the same stimulus
from physical exercise that can be achieved with drugs.
Besides, it's cheaper and better for you.

Getting one's motivation back again is all about building
energy. Next time you find yourself a little demotivated,
keep in mind that you need to re-energise your mind,
emotions and body.


----------------------------------------------------
Bob Selden is the author of the newly published "What To Do
When You Become The Boss" - a self help book for new
managers. He also coaches at the International Institute
for Management Development in Lausanne, Switzerland and the
Australian Graduate School of Management, Sydney. You can
contact Bob via http://www.whenyoubecometheboss.com/

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