You know what? Stress management doesn't work!
I can just hear you say "What are you talking about?" "Are
you crazy?"
Well - the simple fact is that stress is NOT something you
can manage. There is a lot of hype about stress being
manageable, and it IS possible to be more efficient, and
eliminate some of the time consuming tasks you face
everyday. But eventually you WILL have to make a decision
to STOP accepting more stress altogether.
Stress builds on you if you forget to wind down, so you
have to decide to release your stress on a daily basis.
And, by the way - watching TV does NOT release stress. When
you watch the news or a movie - whether it is action, drama
or thriller, you ADD to the stress you have already built
up during your day.
We all have 24 hours to spend everyday. That's it. No more
- no less. We talk about "saving time" - well what is that
about? It's completely impossible to save time. The only
thing you may do, is work harder, so that you feel stressed
sooner. If you don't take time off regularly to REGAIN your
strength - mentally as well as physically - you will end up
being stressed - management or not.
So how to fight the stress? First of all, stress should not
be fought. Stress is a reminder from your body that you
have gone too far. It's like when you feel pain in your
knees after having run too much - you stop. Stress is pain
in you psyche, and it can look like fattigue, depression,
lack of sexual desire, tiredness, and eventually even as
physical pains. Don't fight stress - accept it, and choose
differently. Because YOU have chosen your own stress!
That's right. You did it. Either by accepting too much -
not saying no, or by offering to help, even when you know
that you can't make it without a cost in the end. Why do
you choose stress, when you know how dangerous it is? There
are many reasons, but most have to do with the way you were
brought up. You have been conditioned by your parents,
teachers, friends and yourself to live your life the way
you do.
You have accepted incredible amounts of information as
"facts" daily since you were a child, simply because they
are being conveyed by authorities in you life. When mom or
dad tells you that "working hard is necessary to live in a
harsh world" you may just accept it, and for the rest of
your life you could believe that to be a fact. It will then
affect all of your decisions that has to do with work and
the world, as well as probably also affect your idea about
money.
Look around you. The facts you find are true to you, may
not be so to others. In fact most of what we hold true, is
only true to us, and nobody else. We have accumulated so
much "knowledge" that we have experts telling us that "this
is the way" and a different expert will say exactly the
opposite. We are in conflict with ourselves, and that is
creating big amounts of stress in us.
How can you escape this vicious circle?
1. First of all, you have to accept the fact you are
caught, and want to get out.
2. Next, you must start doing something else.. If you keep
doing what you have always done, you will get the results
you have always gotten. Trying to get a different result by
doing what you used to do, is illogical, and frankly
naïve.
3. Thirdly you should make your desire to change visible.
Take a piece of paper and write what you want. Don't write
what you don't want! And make sure that what you write is
positive and in the present tense. For instance: Don't
write "I don't want to be stressed anymore" Instead write:
"I am so happy that I am living the life I want with loving
people around me." Place that piece of paper on your
bedroom mirror, or somewhere else you will see it often.
Better yet. Make several, and spread them across your walls
and doors.
4. Take action. After having started the process, you will
need discipline to make the change permanent. Be sure to
congratulate yourself every 2-3 days with being firm, and
keeping a promise to yourself. Go to a cafe, or invite
yourself to a dinner at a restaurant. Visit some friends or
do something else that characterizes as a pad on your
shoulder.
5. Finally, when you have been going for a while, you will
have made a permanent change. Usually this takes somewhere
between 21 days and a month. When you have noticed that the
change is there, you should give yourself something you
have desired for a while. This action will enhance your
feeling of success, and motivate you whenever you want to
make another change in your life.
Stress is destroying you, and cannot be managed - start
changing the circle TODAY.
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Liberate Your Self. Do it today - Enjoy tomorrow!
http://www.liberate-your-self.com
Ejvind Jacobsen
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