As a carer of a mentally ill loved one you will go through
one of the biggest learning curves you will ever face.
Unless you have experience in seeing this illness before it
will be a real eye opener. In my writings I take the
positive, in that I believe in Recovery. In saying that, I
know that this is not always true and I have heard some
heart wrenching stories along the way.
If you are dealing with your caring role on a day to day
basis then it is important that you learn as quick as you
can, strategies to cope with various situations. And
believe me, with certain illnesses there are many different
situations. Some illnesses can have the sufferer going
through changing moods, paranoia, bad attitudes and more
within minutes. All these changes make it very hard for
the carer to cope.
As time goes along and you start experiencing repetition in
the problems you can start looking for early warning signs
of illness. By doing this you will be able to discuss
these signs with the person with the lived experience
during calmer moments. I have often heard it said, "But
he/she is so ill I just cant discuss anything", and yes, at
times this may be true. Keeping in mind the type of
illness you are dealing with, there will more than likely
be small windows of time where you will be able to open up
some sort of discussion. Sometimes these windows of
opportunity are so small and there can be so many issues to
be discussed, that you will have to prioritise them.
Keeping a diary or notepad, at least, of issues to be
discussed helps relieve some of the stress because you know
you have it on paper and it wont be forgotten.
A fairly easy to read sign, once you have seen it several
times, is the harrowed look in their eyes which could be
fear or exhaustion, or in the case of a person with bipolar
it could be the opposite, in that they may be in a manic
phase and look exhilarated. Early warning signs could
range from agitation, pacing, yelling, isolation, not
eating, total non-activity, hand signing or other signs
depending on the illness involved.
Once you have become skilled at noticing these signs you
can deal with it much sooner than you would have and have
strategies set up to cope. It could be medication that
needs to be addressed,stress over a job, or appointment or
whatever it is, but don't delay and if you can foresee
trouble ahead you can get hold of doctors and counsellors
for back up help.
In the early days of caring life is often lived with the
"it will get better soon" attitude, and this may be so for
some people, but the reality is, that it may not. Because
dealing with the whole situation can be so stressful try to
plan ahead for doctors appointments by making notes of
concerns you have and questions you want answers to,
otherwise there is a good chance you will forget at the
time.
As a carer I would encourage you to work on coping
strategies as much as helping your loved one. AND coping
may mean making sure that you have an interest outside the
family just for yourself alone and do it on a regular
basis. It may be a hobby, it may be just walking around
the shops, having a coffee or a dinner out, but make sure
you look after yourself as well. You are doing a very hard
job and you deserve to be rewarded for it too!
----------------------------------------------------
Kaye Dennan is a carer/author of a person suffering a
mental disorder and through her own experience believes in
recovery. Kaye has published an ebook called Managing
MENTAL ILLNESS - Coping Strategies for the Carer and it is
available at
http://ebooksnowonline.com/family/mental-illness-coping-stra
tegies/ and is contactable on kaye@ebooksnowonline.com.
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